Parenting- A road where successes are few and failures many
Braving the rain and traffic of Mumbai, more than 80 PSF members made their way to Scholars’ School, Jogeshwari last Saturday and remained glued to their seats for more than an hour. No, it was not for a school exam or to get their kids’ report cards, but it was for a much higher purpose- to understand the nuances of healthy parenting.
‘Parenting’ – a topic which we all take very lightly was the subject for which these young couples had come together. The speaker was a renowned expert on the subject — a family counselor, a Marketing veteran and a College Director. We had with us, for this get-together, Dr. Hanif Lakdawala as the speaker who mesmerized the audience with his eloquence.
The learned speaker began with a question– what was the key difference between Humans and all other Creatures , living or non-living. He explained that it is the presence of Free Will that we Humans have and none of the other creatures do.
A few astonishing findings were shared from a recent primary research conducted with Parents and their Offspring:
1. Almost every parent thinks of himself as a successful parent.
2. On the contrary, 88% of the children feel their parents are a failure on that front.
3. Some may even go to the extreme to say, I wish my parents were dead!
With this context set, a string of golden advice came to the fore with practical examples:
1. Estranged behavior between spouses leads to a very adverse effect on the psychology of the child.
2. Be expressive with your spouse ( an advice particularly for the young-hearted knights) and share your feelings often.
3. One has only till the age of 12 when he can mould his children, after which the free will kicks in with the activation of the neurons, the train has now left the platform.
4. Show him how, instead of just telling him how. Children learn the most by imitating their parents and not by listening to them.
5. Do not punish or reprimand your child in front of others as it damages his confidence.
6. Do not utter bad words for his/her friends as this disturbs him a lot.
7. You are not the owner of your child, you’re only a caretaker – know your position well.
8. Even if the time has gone by, there is still hope. Pray and plead to the Lord for making your children righteous and pious, get up in the wee hours of the morning and ask for forgiveness when all others are asleep.
Qur’anic examples were shared from Prophet Ibraheem’s علیہ السلام life. The relevance of this could not be missed with Eid-al-Adha just ’round the corner. Also, the guidance provided by the Messenger of Allah صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم in this sphere was reiterated. The session was followed up with an active Q&A which, unfortunately, had to be restricted due to paucity of time.
The vote of thanks was given by Br. Naveed. This was followed with the PSF city convener, Br. Ajaz Ahmed sharing with the audience the key activities that the organization has been taking up and appealed to the members present to spread the word and engage regularly.
A sumptuous meal along with a networking session ensued after this and the members headed back home with some very profound insights. We hope the session was useful and would help us in becoming better parents. May God accept the efforts.